The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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