At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
