Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize