That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize