also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
