If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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