so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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