Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
