ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
