I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
