So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Michael Bay diarrhea
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize