But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
