So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I pour the whiskey from now on
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
