His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
