When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
