He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Vodka?
Forever.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Randomize
