I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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