Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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