Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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