If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
