fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
