Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
