After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize