i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
