He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
