it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
