Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize