I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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