I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
