Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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