wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
