"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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