I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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