I don't usually arrange sex via text message
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
