I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
