good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
