What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
