I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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