Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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