from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
