do herpes really smell.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
