I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
