I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
