Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
