wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
