i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
