just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
