Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
