we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
