I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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