I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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