Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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