if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
BRING THE BAGELS
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
