Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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