i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
