he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
