Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you didnt know i had herpes?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You can't just leave with hair like that
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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