Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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