weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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