1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
