So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
