i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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